


You made it easy.

by purpleraindr0ps



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Angst, M/M, implied!Sehun/Yixing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-10
Updated: 2019-05-10
Packaged: 2020-02-29 12:06:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,647
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18777943
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/purpleraindr0ps/pseuds/purpleraindr0ps
Summary: Pride.  A love lost. Unsaid words. A love slipping through the gaps of your fingers.(That fucking pride.)





	You made it easy.

 

 

 

(Never back down and beg, Jongin.

You'll lose the moment you give in.

 

A young Jongin tilts his head up to stare up at the man before him. "Don't worry appa, I promise i won't.")

 

+

 

Hyung.”

A weightless whisper, soft, a little hesitant, more than a little broken.

  
He shows no sign of having heard you, running a hand over messy raven locks as he walks from one end of the room to the other, woollen jumpers and over-sized sweatshirts in his arms. He bends down and dumps the clothing into the open luggage sitting by the door. The luggage is almost filled to the brim now, and you find yourself wondering uselessly if it’s even remotely possible for you to squeeze in.  
  
“Hyung,” you repeat, louder this time, with a hint of urgency and maybe –just maybe- desperation lacing your voice.

  
And still he doesn’t stop, doesn’t turn around.  
  
Jamming his hands into the pockets of his sweatpants, he sweeps his eyes across the room while muttering to himself, words falling from his lips – words that are silent to your ears.  
  
And not even for a second, one pathetic second, does he spare you a glance. His gaze sweeps over you, sweeps over you as if you’re nothing more than just a mere speck of dust – unimportant and insignificant, a nuisance. Irrelevant.  _Redundant._

  
  
The thought strikes you harder than you think it would, deeper than you think it could.

 

 _He’s obviously trying to ignore me,_  you think bitterly to yourself. The knowledge does nothing but drive yet another glass shard into your wounded heart.  
  
“Hyung,” you call out for the third time, “Yixing hyung.”  
  
And this time, desperation colors your voice, a desperate and silent unspoken plea.

  
  
(A plea for what, Jongin? Exactly what are you asking for?)

  
  
They say third time’s the charm, and it’s then when he finally looks at you, stares you straight in the eye. Takes in a deep breath, smiles.  
  
(You’ve never seen such a sad excuse for a smile before. If anything at all, it looks like a painful grimace.)

  
  
“Yes?” he says, and your heart breaks. He sounds so weary, so tired, like the whole world has turned its back on him – like everything has betrayed him and left him alone in the dust.  
  
(It’s not too far of a stretch, really, a small part of your treacherous mind supplies snidely. After all, he had once called you his world, and more often than once, his everything.)  
  
A small frown makes its way to his face. “Jongin?” he’s asking, “Did you want something?”

  
  
_Yes_ , you want to say.  _Stay, please stay and let me make it up to you. Don’t leave, don’t leave me._  
  
You hold your tongue. You can’t say those words, you don’t have the right to. Not anymore.  
  
“Have – have you taken everything you need?” You avert your gaze and mumble to your socked feet.   
  
“Speak up when you’re talking, Jongin,” you hear him chide gently. “And I told you to look at people when you’re talking to them, didn’t I?”  
  
You lift your gaze to meet his. “Sorry,” you say and then cough a little to clear your throat, tries again. You were mumbling again. “Sorry.”  
  
A faint grin lifts up the corners of his lips.  “That’s better, much better.” The grin grows wider and an eyebrow goes up. There’s amusement in his voice as he says, “I don’t recall you being such an obedient boy. What changed huh?” 

  
  
_You’re leaving_  is right at the tip of your tongue. Once again, you bite down and swallow your words. “Hyung,” and there’s a definite pout, “don’t tease.”  
  
“Ah, but where’s the fun if I don’t?” A chuckle escapes him as he makes his way over to where you’re standing. “You know, I’m going to miss teasing you, Jongin.”  
  
_Then stay. Stay and tease me and laugh at me and just.. Don’t leave. Don’t go anywhere and just stay with me._

  
  
He stands right before you, and he’s so close, and yet at the same time so far. You clench your teeth and resist the urge to reach out and pull him into your arms. And never let go.  
  
There’s a soft tenderness swirling in his brown orbs as he gazes at you, rakes his eyes over every inch of your face, wistful smile on his lips. Your breath catch and your chest constricts when you feel the tidal wave of emotions crash down upon you. And is that - is that  _longing_  you see?  
  
And just like that, a whole minute passes, with him silently drinking you in and you, you stand there not daring to make a single move. Because somewhere in the past few minutes, something in you breaks, and if you don’t tread carefully, you might start crying.  
  
“Stay well, Jongin,” he whispers, “I love you. Remember that, if nothing else.”  
  
The accursed dam breaks and you pull him straight into your arms, ignoring the weak struggles and feeble sounds of protest he makes. Pressing your lips firmly against his forehead, closing your eyes and breathing in the scent which is so undeniably  _Yixing_ , the words you have been holding back spill out as you murmur into his skin, “Stay. Don’t go anywhere, don’t leave me.”  
You feel him go still for a few quick seconds, and then his palms are on your chest, and he’s trying to push you off. Refusing to let go, you tighten your grip on him, arms coming round to wrap around his waist possessively. 

  
  
“No, hyung, listen. I – I fucked up. I fucked up real bad and I’m - " you take in a breath – inhaling him in, “ I’m so so sorry. But if you give me another chance, I promise I – "  
  
“Don’t make promises you can’t keep, Jongin-ah,” he whispers, and your heart breaks a little more at how utterly exhausted he sounds. “You’ve used up all your chances. Now let me go.”  
  
His voice is soft, like a lover’s caress, and yet it carries a tone that leaves no room for arguments. So you very reluctantly untangle your arms from him, swallowing down the fear that this moment might very well be the last time you hold him in your arms. The fear hits you like whiplash and you find yourself choking back a broken sob. “Hyung, don’t do this to me.  _Please.”_  
  
He steps back, placing a more discernible distance between the both of you, and looks at you sadly - resigned.  
  
“I have to do this, Jongin, I have to. I can’t – I can’t do what you want me to do anymore. I’m so tired, I feel like I can’t breathe anymore and I, I need to leave you. I’m sorry..”   
  
He turns away from you, slowly makes his way to his luggage by the door. Your mind screams at you to do something, say something –  _anything_  – to hold him back.

  
“You’re cruel, Yixing hyung. You can’t say things like ‘I love you’ and then –"

  
  
“Cruel?” he cuts in softly, still bent over his bag. Straightening up slowly and turning to look at you, you see fury and disbelief flashing in those dark eyes. “Cruel?” he repeats, louder this time, a sharp bark of mirthless laughter falling from his lips. “You’re the one who threw away what we had, time after time, and  _I’m_  the cruel one?”  
  
“No! Hyung, I – "  
  
“Unbelievable, Jongin, unbelievable,” he says quietly, voice colored with disbelief, eyes swimming with hurt.

 

Shaking his head, he speaks up again. And this time yon see a different emotion on his face – resolve. “You know, I wanted our last moment together to be a pleasant one. But no, you just had to ruin that too, didn’t you?”  
  
“I should have known better, should have known that you’d let me down again. That’s nothing new to you, is it?” 

  
  
You stare at him speechless, throat clogged up, all the words you want to say strangling and choking you.  
  
“I shouldn’t have trusted you all those years ago,” he whispers, more to himself than anything, biting his bottom lip and lowering his gaze slightly.  
  
“Hyung – "  
  
“My mistake,” he practically spits out, anger and  _pain_  shining bright in his eyes when he snaps his gaze back up.

 

“The biggest mistake of my life.”

  
  
The cold fury in his voice sends a punch to your gut and drives a stake through your bleeding heart. Rips a jagged hole in your soul. You bite down on your tongue, hard, tasting the metallic tang of blood in your mouth.

  
And then you see him already at the door, bag in hand, walking out of the room.  _Walking out of your life._  
  
Your blood starts running cold as you follow him wordlessly into the living room, as he takes determined steps towards the main door.  
  
“Wait!” you cry out, pushing your pride away – something you should have done a long time ago. “Yixing hyung, I – "  
  
“I’m done waiting, Jongin,” he interjects, not pausing in his footsteps. “Sehun is the car downstairs with the rest of my things. And I for one won’t make anyone wait for me.”

You forcibly swallow down the bile in your mouth at the implication of his words, at the mention of that name.

  
''So you’re just going to leave? Just like that? Is it really that easy for you?"

  
  
His steps slow to a halt. He stills. The air silent, deathly silent. It speaks to you. It sounds like a warning, a warning too late.  
  
_Your pride is going to be your downfall, Jongin. You’ll end up losing everything because of it_.

 

When he turns his head to look at you, tears falling silently from the dark pools of his eyes, the words that fall softly from his lips slaps you in the face, strikes you- relentless and unforgiving.

  
  
“You made it easy when you gave up on us.”  
  
  
+  
+


End file.
